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The object of my affection is in my reflection : coping with narcissists /

by Lerner, Rokelle.
Material type: materialTypeLabelBookPublisher: Deerfield Beach, Fla. : Health Communications, c2009Description: xiv, 274 p. : ill. ; 22 cm.ISBN: 9780757307683 (trade paper) :; 075730768X (trade paper).Title notes: $14.95 prolam 8-2011 (db)Subject(s): NarcissismOnline resources: Table of contents only
Contents:
The roots of narcissism -- The impact of narcissism : personal and professional relationships -- The narcissistic client -- Surviving a narcissistic relationship : breaking the spell and coming to life.
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Books Books Altadena Main Library
Adult Collection Adult NonFiction 158.2 LER Available 39270003421009

Enhanced descriptions from Syndetics:

In her latest book, relationship expert Rokelle Lerner, tackles the innerworkings of narcissism and offers compassionate and realistic advice for surviving a relationship with those afflicted with this personality disorder. A Narcissist can make life exhilaratingly exciting one minute, and shear hell the next. A narcissist has no qualms about taking another's money, love, admiration, body or soul to satisfy their unquenchable hunger. They are not inherently evil, but unfortunately their wounds compel them to act in ways that are sometimes unconscionable, damaging, and ultimately tragic. Whether a mother-in-law, friend, coworker or boss, sometimes it's impossible to avoid narcissists, so instead of being miserable or taken advantage of, Rokelle Lerner shares her insights on the dynamics behind this personality disorder to give readers the tools to cope with narcissists, including: Learning to see narcissists as they see themselves Creating defense factors to ward them off Maintaining a balanced relationship based on mutual love, not one-sided narcissism

$14.95 prolam 8-2011 (db)

Includes bibliographical references (p. 262-269) and index.

The roots of narcissism -- The impact of narcissism : personal and professional relationships -- The narcissistic client -- Surviving a narcissistic relationship : breaking the spell and coming to life.

Table of contents provided by Syndetics

  • Acknowledgments (p. ix)
  • Introduction (p. xi)
  • Part I The Roots of Narcissism
  • 1 Entitlement, Rage and Contempt: The Plight of Narcissists and Their Victims (p. 3)
  • 2 Narcissism Versus Narcissistic Traits (p. 9)
  • 3 Everyone Is a Little Narcissistic (p. 15)
  • 4 The Phenomenon of Healthy Parenting (p. 25)
  • 5 How the Narcissistic Personality Is Formed (p. 33)
  • 6 The Care and Feeding of Narcissists (p. 55)
  • Part II The Impact of Narcissism on Personal and Professional Relationships
  • 7 How to Recognize a Narcissist (p. 67)
  • 8 Dealing with the Narcissist in the Workplace (p. 89)
  • 9 Narcissists and Intimacy: A Contradiction in Terms (p. 103)
  • 10 The Narcissist Woman (p. 127)
  • Part III The Narcissistic Client
  • 11 Narcissus in Wonderland: The Narcissistic Addict (p. 137)
  • 12 Narcissism: A Difficult Diagnosis (p. 147)
  • 13 The Narcissist in Therapy (p. 157)
  • Part IV Surviving a Narcissistic Relationship: Breaking the Spell and Coming to Life
  • 14 Trapped in a Narcissistic Relationship: Why You Can't Help Yourself (p. 177)
  • 15 Strategies for Maintaining Your Sanity with a Narcissist (p. 189)
  • 16 Building Your Psychological and Spiritual Immune System (p. 211)
  • 17 The Light at the End of the Dark Tunnel (p. 237)
  • Epilogue (p. 259)
  • References (p. 262)
  • Index (p. 271)

Excerpt provided by Syndetics

<opt> <anon I1="BLANK" I2="BLANK">When you're in relationship with a narcissist, you relinquish your identity and your soul to them. Their seduction is similar to a razor-sharp stiletto being waved in your face: it's so mesmerizing, you won't know you're bleeding to death until it's too late. But it's not your blood that a narcissist wants it's your emotional energy and your individuality.A true narcissist has no qualms about taking your money, your love, your admiration, your body, or your soul to satisfy their unquenchable hunger. And just as vampires cringe when they're in the presence of crosses or holy water, narcissists recoil at ordinary adult experiences such as boredom, uncertainty, accountability, and, most of all, having to give as well as receive. (Bernstein, 2002)Narcissists use whatever institution is available to achieve their goal of draining your emotional energy and individuality the office of the church, parental authority, a political party, or even a Little League team. Seduction is so easy when you're in command. They use whatever tool is at their disposal to captivate you, own you, and then devour you. And, when you're under their spell, you obey without question and gradually begin to join the procession of the living dead.Until you really get to know narcissists, you may think that they're some of the most charming, compelling people you've ever met. They're fun to be around at parties, are engaging conversationalists, tell amusing stories, and give their opinion on everything in the world. They are charming, that is, until you get to know them; that's when you're at risk of becoming one of their victims. They need you, and they crave what you can give them. They're spoiled and wounded children, desperately in need of someone to be in awe of them.The aim of narcissists is to possess you. You are required to be their unquestioning worshiper and to never criticize or disagree with them. If they do something wrong, you must approve; if they detest someone, you must detest them as well. Your identity ceases to exist and you become a mere reflection of their image. You become a clone with no clue about what you're really thinking or feeling because you are under their spell. If you become involved with a narcissist because you are related to them or you are a friend, a business partner, or a lover you will suffer. And it will likely take years before you know why. (McDonnell, 2007)Narcissists are actors playing a part. They are expert liars and, even worse, they believe their own lies. Practiced in dishonesty, they can't tell the difference between their own version of the truth and a falsehood. Narcissists lie to themselves first, and then systematically and often deliberately torture others with their lies. They may take the past and re-arrange it to make themselves look good. They rarely, if ever, admit fault and they never say they're sorry.The narcissist has been depicted in art, drama, and literature for centuries. When we look closely Excerpted from The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Narcissists and Their Relationships by Rokelle Lerner All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.</anon> </opt>

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